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Recently, I came to the post interesting pork chop recipes letter. I can not show it in its entirety, as a person affected by a personal problem, which he preferred to keep silent. The question concerned the flattery - why he was so fond of flattery, how to confront her. Letter was eventually forwarded to Irina in "The Cabinet of Psychology", but did not go out of my head.
Think. And then read the following article Irene. Personally, it helped me to look at their attitude to flattery quite differently. I wonder how it will affect you (unless, of course, you are not particularly competent in the matter). In the end, I will write my thoughts.
"... And in the heart always will find smoothie Area." This line of fable I memorized from school. But now, typing from memory instead of "smoothie" wrote the first "liar." pork chop recipes Ogovorochka that is called by Freud ...
Many sources identified with false flattery or is considered pork chop recipes close to her meaningfully. However, lie, as flattery, are different: white, salvation, delicate, unseemly, thin, rough, and so on. Some species are not only not condemned, but also encouraged the public. pork chop recipes So, flattery nowadays actively present in advertising, art, media, business, pork chop recipes politics ... I want to write: "penetrated surrounds pork chop recipes us." But this is wrong.
Flattery - something virtual, without arms and legs for sure. It was we who by flattery penetrate and surround or allow others to do so. Terminology of military affairs generally. But these words so naturally combined with flattery. Flattery - significant phenomenon in the communication process. It is often used in speech genres such as coaxing, please direct, indirect request, petition advice, flirting. Of the many definitions of flattery me more than others like this:
It is the modern definition, devoid of rigidity (unlike definitions and SI Ozhegova VIDalja). We agree to a so-called "household flattery" as a compliment. Talk about flattery as keying (often pork chop recipes used in industrial relations).
First, you must first be able to recognize it. For good reason they say that "no one smoothie is not flattering so skillfully as vanity." Where is the fine line that separates a compliment pork chop recipes from a thin delicate flattery? Often it is a pleasant feeling, can cause embarrassment, and we say, "You flatter me," with a smile and a pleasant tone. This can be regarded as "thank you".
Saying this, as if we are closing the topic. Unlikely interlocutor will prove us otherwise. Can the recognized flattery cause anger? I think so, if it is absolutely rude, after which the scenario will be announced interlocutor request. Especially if the request is difficult to perform. In this case, we are confronted with direct manipulation. Feel manipulated extremely unpleasant. Therefore, experienced manipulators pork chop recipes hold such a scheme: flattery-interval-request.
I must say that the oft-repeated flattery ceases pork chop recipes to warm the hearts and acts as an insult. Most often flattery can cause a feeling of anger. What can this mean? Likely that we did not expect from us interlocutor manipulation. So our expectations of this man were not justified. But it is our "herd".
Nobody should justify anybody's expectations! Flattery sometimes causes confusion - people do not know how to react to it. It turns out the internal conflict: I want to take as a compliment, but something prevents me to do it inside. Flattery can cause even laughter. But it clearly says that the manipulation failed. A subject and object are reversed. And one more thing. The same flattering phrase we perceive differently depending on who flatters us. From a reputable person for us accept more readily than from a person deprived in our eyes this quality.
Also, I often hear from friends: "It flatters my vanity." This phrase in the listener (me, for example) does not cause negative emotions. Impression that people indirectly praises himself with a small proportion of self-irony.
Consider flattery, which is used as the manipulation and control. Toughest its kind. In this case, a smoothie wants to win the confidence of the object to the object is not denied his request. pork chop recipes This is the hidden meaning of flattery. In this case you need to clothe Smoothie flattery in such form that it (flattery) "lulled" object, he lost caution and lost their natural insight.
Smoothie always knows what flatters. So write many sources. This is probably true, but what is not easy! Indeed, in this case in the smoothie must constantly supervise itself: verbal and nonverbal messages must match. Smoothie should be able to read the emotions of the object, to know about his self-esteem and so on. Probably, there are l
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